


I promise that you will not be forgotten

by Murdersfriesandgayguys



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gay Awakening, Gay Hannibal Lecter, Hannibal is a bit of a player and we HATE him for it, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Pride AU, Slow Burn, Teen Hannibal Lecter, Teen Will Graham, Will denies his sexuality, Will kisses someone else, Will wears rainbow suspenders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:28:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24790027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Murdersfriesandgayguys/pseuds/Murdersfriesandgayguys
Summary: Will Graham was dragged along to pride as an ally to his friends. Crowds aren't his thing and he can't shake the feeling of sadness surrounding an altogether happy event. This all changes when he meets Hannibal Lecter, a confident, beautiful boy.
Relationships: Anthony Dimmond/Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham & Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter
Comments: 29
Kudos: 88





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ineffable_Hannigram](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineffable_Hannigram/gifts).



> I wrote this in response to a prompt for a friend and I love the result.This is going to hopefully be a full fic! Hope y'all like it!

Crowds were not Will's thing. Actually, none of it was. The crowds, the colours, the noise, the feeling of being 3 foot tall. 

He was there for his friends. They were so excited for him to come, dragging out of him in school while telling him how amazing it was going to be and how happy they would be if he just bit the bullet and joined them

_ "You have to come! It's gonna be so fun! Even Brian and Jimmy are coming! Only one of them is even gay!" She had pulled the sleeve of his sweater so hard that it had stretched out, becoming completely misshapen. Oh well. It wasn't like he actually cared about it. It was just a sweater. His favourite sweater, but a sweater nonetheless. _

_ "I don't really think it's my scene. I mean… the crowds alone would be bad for my anxiety. Plus I’m not gay." Will had mumbled, his eyes darting back and forth between the wall behind her head and the floor. He had never been a fan of eye contact. Especially when he was letting someone down. _

_ "Oh just come, you big baby. What's the worst that can happen? You'll have fun?" She had teased. _

_ "Or that I'll have a panic attack in the middle of a street surrounded by rainbows..." He mumbled, rolling his eyes and actually considering his options. He could go and be miserable the whole time but at least his friends would have some photos and happy memories to look back on, or he could stay at home and have to listen to the stories for the entire week. The latter seemed much more painful than the former, "fine. I'll go, but I won't enjoy it."  _

_ “I knew you wouldn’t let me down!”  _

He wasn't enjoying it. He had never felt more stupid, a straight boy wearing rainbow suspenders with his black, worn out sweater and denim jeans with holes in the knees that were there from mechanical work rather than for fashion. He looked like an idiot, but, then again, he always looked like an idiot. Jimmy had tried to put some rainbow makeup on him but he had refused. He wasn't gay. He didn't want makeup. The rainbow suspenders were quite enough to show his support without having flags painted on his cheek that he didn’t actually relate to.

Surrounded by crowds at Baltimore pride, Will felt tiny. He was an insignificant speck amongst towering drag queens in their stunning platform heels, women with pink flags on their cheeks, smiling ear to ear as they held their flags. Boys wearing blue, people prancing around in pastel coloured flags, couples that seemed to be straight were holding up a pink, purple and blue flag that he believed to be bisexual. He’d have to ask Brian or Jimmy what they meant later on. He was surrounded by colour combinations he didn't know existed, flags that were beautiful and vibrant and-

"Ah! Brian! It's been far too long. You didn't attend orchestra camp this year!" A soft accent came tumbling through the crowd, sweet at Will's ear and distracting him from his thoughts. 

"Hannibal! What are the odds of seeing you here?! And trust you to call it orchestra camp instead of band camp.” Zeller laughed, his eyes lit up wide as he embraced the strangely well built young man tightly. Will craned his neck to get a look at him, standing on his tiptoes slightly which was incredibly embarrassing, but he wanted to see. He hadn't had his growth spurt yet, but he was sure that as soon as he was seventeen it would come. Standing at a rather unimpressive five foot four, he wasn't exactly threatening or cool looking. The only comfort he had was that his dad was an impressive six foot two inches and his mother had apparently been tall as well. He’d have really lost the generic lottery if he didn’t end up growing slightly taller than his current five foot five inches. 

Hannibal, though? He was immaculate, wearing a green button up shirt that was half open revealing a T-shirt that said 'PROUD TO BE ME' in bold rainbow letters on black. Will was slightly awed by him. He was at least six foot, slim, with this sandy blond hair that was gelled into place. His cheekbones were highlighted with a rainbow flag on one cheek and an all blue gradient one on the other. He wondered what that meant. He should ask him.

"Will? Earth to Will!" He blinked a few times to come back to his senses only to see Zeller standing in front of him, laughing, "I'm trying to introduce you to Hannibal, but you're somewhere else again." He laughed, standing aside to reveal the boy that Will had been staring at, "Will? this is Hannibal. Hannibal? This is Will. He's just here because we dragged him." 

Shaking Hannibal's hand sent sparks shooting up Will's arm and straight to his brain. His mouth was dry and he was completely unable to speak. Not that he could even get a word in before Hannibal started exchanging pleasantries.

"It's nice to meet you, Will. I like your suspenders." Hannibal smiled sincerely, his eyes creasing at the side. He looked Will up and down, taking in his features for a moment before silently reaching behind him to take a rather comically large rainbow flag from around his shoulders in order to drape it over Will like a blanket. "There we are. You really look the part now." He laughed. Oh god his laugh was beautiful, like a song on Will’s ear. It provided a welcome distraction from the deafening sounds around him.

"Jesus, Will… You sure you’re not meant to be here?” Beverly teased with a grin, leaning over to whisper, “Talk to him. If you don’t talk then you won’t get anywhere, yeah? Just thank him and tell him you like his outfit.” 

This was all a bit much for Will. He had to admit that he was slightly caught off guard by Hannibal. He didn’t think that someone as perfect as him could exist. Yet, there he was, standing in front of him, waiting for a reply that Will just could not form for love nor money.

“I’m Will!” He managed to shout out, cheeks bright red as he tugged the flag tighter around him. It was too warm out to be encased like this, but the weight of the flag felt so comforting. “I really hate crowds!” He yelled again.  _ Nice start, loser. _

“Ah… I see. Well how about I take you somewhere a bit quieter?” Hannibal whispered softly in Will’s ear, soothing him. Will couldn’t help the way his face lit up like a Christmas tree from ear to ear. He looked to Beverly for help, but she was too busy taking in the sights around her to pay much attention to Will at all. 

“Are you going to try and murder me while I’m away from my friends?” He was blunt with his words as usual. He meant to make a joke out of it, but it just came across as mistrust. There were too many things going on around him and, while he was absorbing the energy from those around him, he was feeling drained and on edge. It wasn’t really a time for joking. Usually he found it easy to borrow the happiness of others, but the whole event was tinted with the suffering of those who suffered to make an event like this happen in the first place.

Hannibal seemed to find it endearing though, smiling and shaking his head in a rather exaggerated fashion, “No I won’t kill you unless you upset me. I just think I will get to know you better when you’re feeling more comfortable.” He was far too sincere for Will’s liking. Too good to be true. “They don’t seem like they want to come with us. I feel as if we might be spoiling their fun.” He laughed again and Will felt his stomach start churning at the mere sound of it. He didn’t really understand what he was feeling, but it was definitely different to how he had ever felt before.

“Yeah sure go ahead. We’ll meet you back up on the main road, yeah? By the ice cream place? Just be back by six.” Six? Six was… three hours away. What were they going to do for three hours? What if Hannibal didn’t like him after all? What if he did get murdered? 

Will was terrified as Hannibal grabbed his hand and led him through the crowds of people, music blaring in his ears loud enough to make him feel as if his brain might explode. His breathing was becoming laboured what with the heat and the panic settling in his chest. His height wasn’t helping things and he felt buried alive beneath layers and layers of rainbows. 

He could feel tears gathering on his eyelashes and sobs bubbling up under his lungs, ready to be let out, but it was all made better when Hannibal pulled him down a side street away from the noise and the bright colours. Will finally felt like he could breathe for the first time since he had gotten there. He caught his breath, inhaling deeply through his nose and out through his mouth like his father had taught him when he was younger. 

“Where are we going?” Will asked, rubbing the tears from his eyes with his free hand as they continued walking, hand in hand. Will couldn’t really bring himself to tear his hand away from Hannibal’s. Much like the weight of the flag around him, the pressure of a hand in his was comforting. 

“To a bench where we can sit and talk for a little while. Is that okay?” Hannibal smiled warmly, squeezing Will’s hand gently and all Will could do was nod and follow blindly, taking in the fresh air as it came to him. 

The music could still be heard behind them, a faint thumping in the distance as Hannibal invited Will to sit on a bench in a park that Will didn’t recognise. Not that he recognised most of Baltimore. He lived in Virginia. 

People were walking by all dressed in rainbows and there were a few couples spotted holding hands or kissing under the trees. It was nice to see, Will supposed. These people all seemed so happy. Will, on the other hand, was terrified as he sat there with this stunning man who was making him feel things he had never felt before.

“Brian told me that you were only here as an ally. Is that true?” It was true. Will was only  _ meant  _ to be there as an ally, but he didn’t really expect to find himself completely reevaluating his entire identity just at the sight of one perfect boy. 

“Yeah I was- I mean… I  _ am  _ just here to support them. I didn’t really want to come, but it means a lot to them so…” Hannibal grabbed his hand again, lacing their fingers and Will felt his stomach lurch slightly with the nerves. “I’m feeling slightly conflicted though. I have this thing, you see. I can feel what the people around me feel and I can see things through their eyes and everyone here is so  _ happy _ and sure of themselves and I saw you and I just-“ he stopped himself. Jesus Christ he had just overshared. He refused to look anywhere but his lap for fear of seeing the disgust on Hannibal’s face at how glum Will could be when surrounded by such happiness. “What does the blue flag mean?” 

“You must care about your friends a lot if you would be willing to put yourself through this much distress in order to stand with them and support them.” The way he talked was funny. It was kinda fancy and made him sound a lot smarter than Will. “It’s the gay flag.” He gave Will’s hand a squeeze to punctuate his sentence and it sent shockwaves up his arm again which caused Will to growl slightly, 

“Can you  _ stop  _ doing that?!” He pulled his hand away quickly, shaking his arm out to rid it of the prickly feeling that was spreading through it. 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to upset you. You never pulled your hand away so I presumed that you had no objections.” Hannibal’s eyes were wide with what Will could see was a melting pot of confusion and concern. “I’m sorry,” He mumbled a second time, folding his hands in his lap instead. “You’re here as an ally and I should be respecting that rather than trying to come on to you. My assumptions got the better of me.” 

“No it’s not- that’s not what I didn’t like. When you squeeze my hand it makes it-“ he couldn’t really find the words so he paused for a moment, taking a few breaths to ground himself in the moment. 

_ ‘It’s around 3:30 pm, I’m in Baltimore, Maryland, and my name is Will Graham.’  _

_ “ _ It makes my arm tingle up to the socket. It’s like lightning or something.” He mumbled, rubbing his arm as if to emphasise his point. “I just don’t know how I’m feeling right now and that isn’t helping.” Hannibal seems to understand what Will thought made no sense at all. Will gently pulled the flag tighter around himself, eyes closing as he did. All he could hear now was the sound of the thumping music and the summer breeze floating through the trees.

Of course that peace didn’t last long as Hannibal began speaking again, “So you enjoy it, but you enjoy it so much that you hate it? I suppose I can empathise with that.” Hannibal smiled with a nod of his head and Will began to laugh, shaking his head.

“Oh you don’t know  _ anything  _ about empathising.” Hannibal seemed confused, but let go, seemingly staring into the nothingness of the park. “Sorry that was… yeah that was meant to be a joke.” Will let out an awkward laugh which began to mingle with the gorgeous sound of Hannibal’s own. Soon, they were unable to control themselves and their laughter was ringing out through the park, rustling the leaves and causing the birds to sing along to their harmonising tune. 

Eventually, Hannibal managed to get back under control, wiping a single tear from beside his eye as he began to speak breathily, still chuckling intermittently throughout his sentence, “Would you be horribly offended if I asked you for your phone number?” 

“My phone number? Oh I don’t actually-“ he took a breath to calm himself again. He was caught off guard by the question. Why the fuck would anyone want his phone number? Why would  _ Hannibal  _ want his phone number? “I don’t know it off by heart yet but you can give me yours. I only got a phone for the first time last year so having a number is new.” There was a bright pink blush spreading from his cheeks all the way up to his ears as he took his tiny little button phone out of his pocket. “Sorry… My dad doesn’t like all that social media stuff so I have one of these  _ bad boys. _ ” 

Much to his relief, Hannibal seemed to find that funny and mumbled, “Oh it is quite stunning.” At this he took the small phone in his hand, “Am i going to have to worry about running your father’s bill up while we talk on the phone?” Phone calls were not Will’s thing. Actually, socialising was not Will’s thing so hearing that was enough to strike fear into his heart, but he still found himself speaking again.

“No. God no. We can message on my laptop when I get home, but at least you can still get in contact with me if you need me.” Will was still blushing like an absolute idiot and now his brain was telling him to shut up and stop fucking blushing, but the words just kept spilling out like a leak from a wooden bucket that’s been left to rot for fifty years, “I mean that is if you want to contact me at any time. I don’t- you don’t have to, but I’d like for you to.”

“Why would I ask for your number if I didn’t want to contact you?” Will didn’t even have an answer to that. He knew that he was just being an idiot. “I thought that your father didn’t approve of social media. What on earth would we be messaging on?”

“Oh well I use my laptop to Skype call with my um- nevermind. What I use it for isn’t important.” Was he seriously about to tell this perfect boy that he used Skype to call with his therapist? Thank god he had stopped himself.

“Ah so you would like to video call with me?” He had this smug smile on his face as if he had just been asked to marry him.

“Okay there’s no need to be so happy about it. I’m just saying that we can use the chat feature.” He inhaled sharply and looked down at his lap, “ _ and _ I think that your face is slightly nice to look at.” He barely whispered it, but that didn’t stop his ears turning an angry red. 

Before he could really register what was happening, he was looking straight into Hannibal’s eyes as Hannibal tucked his thumb underneath Will’s chin, gently tugging him in close.  _ What the fuck is happening? _

“Well then, perhaps you should look at it a bit more closely.”  _ smug bastard.  _

"Sorry what age are you? I don’t think grown men should be looking at young boys." 

Hannibal let out an incredulous breath of a laugh "I’ll have you know that I am seventeen.What age are you,  _ young boy _ ?" 

"First of all, don’t call me that again and, secondly, I’m sixteen. I'm seventeen in a few weeks though." He couldn’t stop looking at Hannibal, eyes tracing the lines of his face, the swell of his Adam’s apple, the blonde colour of his hair. 

"I see. That doesn't change my opinion of you."

"Good."

A sudden rush of confidence and certainty hit Will and he knew that he had to kiss Hannibal. He had to test his theory. He leaned in close and haphazardly pressed his lips to Hannibal Lecter's, all while mumbling, "I'm not gay."

Hannibal just disregarded that statement and continued to press into their kiss. Will could feel the paint from Hannibal's cheek rubbing off on his own and he  _ knew  _ that Beverly was going to have a field day with it. He found that it was enough to make him care and he abruptly pulled away, wiping his cheek furiously to try and rid it of the paint. 

"Hold still please." Will did as told, sitting still as Hannibal licked his thumb and used it to clean the paint off of Will's cheek. He was ever so gentle, focused entirely on his task. Will couldn't help but stare at him, admired his features. He had never felt this way before and it was weird, but he wasn't completely disgusted by it. Only mildly.

-

Three hours was far too short and it wasn’t long before Hannibal was walking him back to the ice cream parlour so that he could go home. 

The afternoon had been mostly silent contemplation between the two boys. Will had told Hannibal about fishing and fly tying and Hannibal had pretended to be enthralled by it. Hannibal had told Will about the old masters and how he would love to show Will some of his drawings. 

Will had begun to think that they didn’t actually have much in common, but they figured out that they had some things in common.

They both loved to read. Will was more a fan of nonfiction while Hannibal preferred enthralling stories of crime and punishment or tales of mystery and romance. 

They found themselves in the book store where Hannibal bought Will a copy of The Psychopath Test and Will bought Hannibal a copy of The Great Gatsby with a picture of a beautiful woman on the cover. 

-

Just before they got to the parlour, Hannibal stopped Will in his tracks and gently cupped his face,

“I understand if you would rather keep this a secret from your friends.” 

“Keep what a secret?” Will was still very much of the opinion that kissing a boy and enjoying it meant nothing for him. It was just an experiment. An experiment which he wanted to do over and over again. “I haven’t decided what  _ this  _ is yet. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say anything.” Hannibal merely nodded and. Continued to walk. Will could sense the hurt off of him, but he didn’t say anything more.

As they approached their destination, Will could see Beverly, Brian and Jimmy standing there laughing. He supposed he was going to have to hear the stories after all, but at least he had a few of his own to tell. He clutched his book to his chest as he reached them, flag tied around him, cheeks flushed. 

“There they are! Guys you missed all the fun!” Beverly yelled around her plastic ice cream spoon. 

“Oh we had plenty of fun on our own.” Hannibal mused, “we went to the bookstore and explored Baltimore together.” Will was happy for the specification. Leaving things up in the air tended to make people presume the worst.

“Oh well come on. We need to get going.” Brian mumbled before heading towards Hannibal to give him a hug. “Say goodbye, Will. You won’t see him for a while.” 

“What? Why?” He didn’t mean to sound so desperate, but he didn’t like the sound of not seeing Hannibal for a while. 

Hannibal let go of Brian and looked to Will who was standing there like a deer in the headlights, all dewy eyed and trying not to let the concern show on his face but failing miserably. He looked like he had just been stabbed. 

He watched as Hannibal approached him, everything around him sounding as if it were underwater. He felt Hannibal’s arms around him and heard him speak softly in his ear, “I go to a boarding school around three hours away from here. I’m attending summer school this year to prepare for my medical training. I apologise that I never told you, but I was fearful that you would become uninterested.” He let go of Will with one final squeeze and looked him in the eyes, “you have my phone number. I will find time to speak to you. I promise that you will not be forgotten.”  _ Fuck right he won’t. _

Will felt betrayed. His stomach was churning as he turned away without a word and walked back towards his friends. Of course he wasn’t allowed to see him. Of course. Nothing could ever go right for Will Graham after all. 

He got in the car without a word and stayed quiet the whole journey home. He felt burned.

The chatter of his friends became background noise as he faded into the quiet of the stream in his brain, calming his thoughts until they were nothing more than ripples on the surface of the water. 

  
  
  
  
  



	2. The Tiny Gable Window

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will is still struggling with the reality that he may be falling for a boy. A boy who is currently at boarding school.

Will’s bedroom wasn’t anything fancy. It was the attic room in a house with three bedrooms. The two bigger ones were reserved for his father and guests and Will was granted the room with the sloping roof and little ventilation. It often felt like a coffin in the summer months with the humidity, but it was his room and he liked it. 

The walls were a light blue colour, the colour that they had been since he was a baby. He had never been bothered enough to change them. He had a single bed with red flannel blankets on top to keep him warm in the winter. Not that he slept under them most nights anyway. Besides, they were constantly covered in dog hair. 

There was a red pillow on the floor for his dog, Gary, which was covered in white hairs. Mounted up on the wall behind his bed with blu-tack that had been mercilessly punched into the wall, was the flag that Hannibal Lecter had given him at pride. It truly did take pride of place in the room, it’s comically large size meaning it dominated most of the wall. He was surprised that his father hadn't commented on it yet. Maybe he didn't know what it stood for. Either way, Will was relieved that he hadn't had to have that particular conversation just yet.

The window was small and unimposing, set in the gable of the roof. A small square on the facade of the modest farm house, and right now it was open to try and let some cool air into the room, but the curtains were still pulled shut, flowing lightly in the summer breeze as it entered the room.

Will could be found, most days, sitting on his bed with his legs crisscrossed and his laptop balanced between them with Gary the dog sitting at his bedside like a gargoyle protecting his room. Today was no different. He was expecting a call from his therapist at any second as usual for a Friday afternoon. School had only been out for a week and Will was already feeling the stress of being at home with his father for extended periods of time. He needed this time to get all of his frustrations off his chest. 

This session was the first one since his confusing first interaction with Hannibal Lecter. Since then, Will hadn’t been able to think straight. His head felt like it was full of cotton wool and his dreams were plagued with soft touches and whispered nothings from the boy with the highest cheekbones known to man. The boy that Will was pretty sure he had fallen in love with.

They hadn’t really messaged much. Hannibal was busy with being intelligent and Will was busy fishing and working on his old Jalopy. A beat up old Volvo with barely any engine and a busted fuel tank. His dad bought it for him for his sixteenth birthday as a joke, but Will had never been happier. It gave him something to think about other than schoolwork and his seemingly fragile sexuality. 

The few messages that they did exchange were awkward though, wonderfully and painfully awkward. 

_ 'How are you?' _ Hannibal had typed as if they didn’t only have an hour to chat over shitty boarding school WiFi. Wasting time with pleasantries wasn't really an option.

_'Fine. I’ve been working on the car. Caught a rainbow trout yesterday after you left for the rest of your nerd camp. How are you?'_ He let the fish go after catching it, feeling too nervous about killing a living thing to be able to go through with watching it suffocate in the air.

_'I’m quite offended that you didn’t send me a photo of you with your catch.'_ And in a separate message, ' _I’m quite alright. I’ve been learning about the body’s various veins and arteries. It’s fascinating.'_

The conversations never seemed to last long enough. Either Will would be called to help in the barn or Hannibal would get caught up chatting to other very intelligent people. Will couldn’t really help the jealousy rippling through him every time Hannibal mentioned one of his friends.

_ 'Alana told me a joke today.' _

Or

_ 'Bedelia reckons that anyone can do surgery, but some people are just better at it than others. Less deadly, I suppose. Anyone can cut a person open, but what comes after that is what distinguishes between a surgeon and someone pretending to be one.' _

He knew that it was nothing to worry about due to the fact that Hannibal was gay, but he still couldn’t help but feel nervous. What if they convinced him that Will wasn’t smart enough for him or pretty enough or… you know…  _ gay enough  _ for him. He didn't really think it was fair that he had to have his 'gay awakening' with a boy who was currently at least three hours away and who was undoubtedly much smarter, more talented, and had a bigger social circle than Will. 

Life was really kicking him in the ass.

-

His therapist called at around 2pm which interfered with his daily Hannibal time, but he had to prioritize his mental health over the entertainment of a rather pretty posh boy. 

As usual, she was sitting in her office, looking unimpressed that she had to use technology to see Will. She was dressed nicely, wearing an eggshell blue blouse and her thick brimmed black glasses perched at the end of her nose. Her brown hair was tied up into a rather clean top knot, secured with only a pencil. Will had to admit that he was impressed by it.

“And what is your excuse for avoiding my chair again this week? I highly doubt that your dog is still sick. Is Gary there with you?” At the sound of his name, Will’s little mostly white border collie poked his head up to see who had called. Will smiled down at him and reached down to scratch behind his pointy ears. 

He decided to avoid the question that he had actually been asked and answer the one he wanted to answer. He didn’t really want to explain that his daddy was drunk at two in the afternoon for the third week in a row and couldn’t drive him the half hour to therapy. “Yeah he’s here. Come on up, Gar! Come on!” All Gary needed was the invitation and the dog jumped up onto the bed with him, excitedly licking his face before settling down.

His therapist, Joan, feigned a smile at the scene in front of her. The woman had no empathy towards Will, but he supposed he had enough for the two of them, “Well he certainly doesn’t look sick. How have you been, Will?”

“I’ve been okay. The nightmares haven’t been as bad recently.” They hadn’t, but in their place were images that were somewhat less desirable. Images of Hannibal Lecter cupping his face and kissing him so gently as if he might break. Images of Hannibal Lecter dragging him through the city to see the sights. Images of, well, Hannibal Lecter. 

Joan looked at him with a rare but genuine smile, face uncomfortably close to her laptop camera, “Well that’s wonderful, Will. Is meditation working for you then?” 

“No. Meditation is awful. I start imagining things that aren’t ever going to happen like someone falling in love with me or terrifying men with big smiles hiding in the shadows of my room, ready to come out and stab me with a pair of rusty scissors. Or how my dad is feeling in the room below mine. I think that I’ve just had other things to process besides the skeletons in my closet.” Will never used to be honest with Joan, but after a year of going to her he found that it was less exhausting to just be truthful with her. What was the harm anyway? Doctor-patient confidentiality was a blessing.

“A boy? Have you gotten over your little crush on that girl in your class?” Her tone, as usual, is sour and frustrating. She must have been the most disinterested psychiatrist in America, if not the world. Will resented her for it.

“I went to pride with some friends. I um…” it felt weird to admit it out loud, “I was just there as an ally to my friends, but I met a boy there and I started thinking about things that I’ve never thought about before. Like holding his hand or kissing him.” Without even looking at the little window on the Skype call he knew that he was blushing like mad as usual. He seemed to be blushing constantly since meeting the boy in question.

“And did you?” 

“What?”

She sighed with frustration and clicked her tongue, “Kiss him?” 

“Oh.” Will sucked in a breath and looked down at Gary to calm himself. He was snoozing on Will’s lap as Will played with his ears, untangling the tiny knots of hair at the base of them, “Yeah I um- Yeah I kissed him.”

“Will, it feels like I am pulling teeth here. Would you like to tell me anything else about him or will we just leave this topic of conversation and move on to the reason why you're not in my office right now? You are aware that nothing you say here will be released to anyone so you can speak as freely as you like.” 

  
  


Will felt his stomach drop to his feet at that. Was he really making things that difficult? No wonder she hated every second of their hour together. “I think I’m jealous. It doesn’t really make sense since it’s only girls that he’s talking to and he’s gay, but maybe I’m just jealous of the fact that they get to be near him and I don’t. I've never felt like this before and its confusing.” 

“I presume that your jealousy is actually stemming from a fear of rejection. It’s your first time feeling like this and that comes with an awful lot of confusion, as you've mentioned. Perhaps you should confront him about how you are feeling.” 

Will knew that she was right but that didn’t make it hurt any less. He didn’t want to feel so insecure but he couldn’t help it. The boy who he dreamt of kissing and holding just so happened to be an eleven out of ten while Will weighed in at a rather unimpressive six out of ten at best. Plus, the idea of actually admitting the fact that he was hopelessly smitten with Hannibal was physically painful and he didn't think that he'd ever be able to go through with it.

“I can’t talk to him very much. He’s at a summer school for really smart students and the WiFi is awful there. That and he only gets an hour a day to use his laptop. We could just message on our phones, but I’m afraid to run daddy’s bill up. It’s hard enough to pay for all these sessions and his- his hobbies without having to pay for my yearnings for affection as well. I'm already enough of a burden as is.” His words were bitter and caused Gary to stir slightly at his owner's discomfort, shifting in his lap until his snout rested on Will’s thigh where he settled back down again with a huff.

“Will.” Joan began to speak sternly. Yay. Time for a lecture. "You are not a burden to your father. He pays for these sessions because he wants you to learn to cope better with your surroundings which you are not doing very well right now." Wow that hurt. 

Oh, but there was more, “Furthermore, I don’t think that it’s very healthy for you to pursue a long distance relationship with a boy who you barely know. Your insecurities will only grow from here no matter what this mystery lover of yours says to the contrary.” Her words were biting and Will could feel the breath being knocked out of his lungs.

“You’re asking me to give up the person who has made my nightmares go away? That seems counterproductive, Joan.” He couldn’t help but sound petulant. Teenagers weren’t exactly known for their common sense, and Will was basically a teenager with a talent for emotional manipulation. “Plus, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get over him that easily. I mean, he’s perfect. He talks about things like the old masters and listens to me when I blab about fixing cars and fishing.” That statement elicited a sigh from Joan who was trying her best not to roll her eyes. God he needed a new therapist.

“Oh Will, your expectations are painfully low. There are plenty of boys who are interested in art and who will pay attention to you. Please don’t think so little of yourself as to restrict yourself to one person at age sixteen. You must give yourself room to grow and learn. Plant yourself in soil so that your roots may grow. Don't pour concrete around them.” What the fuck was she talking about?

Will could feel the frustration bubbling up in him and thought it best to shut this down before he said something he would later regret. “I think I’m done with this for today. Hopefully daddy will put the payment through, but I can’t ever be sure. He’s been a bit out of sort lately. Bye!” Before she could protest he hung the call up, fully aware that they had only lasted a half hour out of the full sixty minutes. It was better than the week before which ended after a record ten minutes and thirty-five seconds.

He stretched out and roused Gary from his doze, trying to lure him outside for a little while. He’d been beside his bed all morning and probably needed to do his business. Once he had been placed outside for a run around, Will walked back up the stairs, ignoring the drunken shouts of his dad, begging him to come downstairs for a drink with him. He didn’t need that today. Maybe later when he confronted him about needing a new therapist.

He shut his bedroom door and sat back on his bed, checking his laptop for any new messages. 

_ 'We’re given the day off on Saturdays. Would you like to do a video call tomorrow? I miss seeing the way your eyes light up when you tell me about fishing.' _

Will’s heart just about stopped and he went into autopilot, thinking of excuses as to why he couldn’t call, but when he looked at the screen he had already seemed to type, ' _ Yeah sure! Just give me a time and I’ll be good to go!' _ Good to go? Really? He sounded like a camp counsellor.

He hated to admit it, but he was actually quite excited to see Hannibal’s face after two weeks of painfully short interactions. He couldn’t wait to introduce him to Gary and show him his hand tied flys. What he wasn’t looking forward to was the awkwardness. Oh well. He had to deal with awkwardness before he could get to the good stuff.

_ 'I’ll see you at 1pm!' _

_ 'I wouldn't miss it for the world.' _

-

He didn’t sleep very well that night, tossing and turning as he thought of every single eventuality that could occur while they were on Skype together. None of them good. 

Gary slept soundly on the floor beside him as his father snored loudly in the room below his. Everyone was at peace besides Will. But, hey. What was new there?

The dawn crept in slowly, bringing with it the sounds of birds singing pleasantly in the trees. Too cheerful for how awful Will felt. There were still well over seven hours until he had to face Hannibal so he might as well try to pursue normality until then. He leaned down to gently rub Gary’s back and ears to wake him, walking down the stairs with his old dog at his heels. He opened the front door for him and watched him bound out across the dew soaked grass, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth as he jumped around. He was acting as if he wasn’t ten years old and Will envied his happiness. He wished that he could just jump around without a care in the world. Still, it brought a smile to Will's lips.

He sat down on the porch steps, looking out as his dog went sniffing in the hedges and around the trees, stretching himself out after his sleep. The air was pleasantly warm despite the early hour and the birds were searching for worms in the damp grass. He could hear the trees rustling and whispering to each other in the wind and he wondered what they were speaking about. 

They were probably bitching about Will’s T-shirt and boxers combo. Fetching as usual.

-

He must have been sitting there for hours because, when he was shaken from his thoughts by his father, the sun was high in the sky and the deck around him was warmed by it to the point that it was almost uncomfortable. He was suddenly struck with panic. Had he missed his call with Hannibal?

“What time is it?” He gasped out, standing up rapidly and whistling for Gary to come to him. 

Beau, as usual, was hungover, nursing a finger of whiskey to try and take the edge off, his voice was gruff and unimpressed. He loved Will. He really did love him, but he didn't appreciate the noise that he was making, “eleven thirty I think. Where were you, boy?” He asked as if he actually cared. Will couldn’t really answer the question though, not quite sure where he had gone. He had been on the porch, but far away at the same time.

“Not sure. It wasn’t here anyway. I need to have a shower. I'll talk to you later.” Stretching out his arms behind him, Will sidestepped his dad, giving his arm a gentle squeeze before walking up the stairs to the bathroom. How had he managed to lose five hours just by sitting on the porch? 

The water was cold, ice cold. Obviously Beau had used up all the hot water trying to clean the bath and sink clear of grime. He certainly hadn’t showered this morning, but maybe he had thrown up before bed and only cleaned it up when he woke. No matter, Will could suffer the cold for a few minutes while he washed his hair. 

When he got out, Will’s reflection was taunting him in the cracked bathroom mirror. His wet curls were plastered to his forehead and the bags under his eyes made it painfully obvious that he hadn’t slept at all. A shadow of facial hair had started to appear on his face and he decided that this summer he was going to try and grow a beard. Maybe that way he might look a bit less like a twelve year old and more like an almost seventeen year old. He also liked the idea of having his face partially hidden by a beard. Maybe if he looked scruffy enough it would stop people from trying to talk to him. 

-

After eating something and forcing Beau to eat something despite the protests, Will went upstairs to his room, his legs shaking with nerves. What if Hannibal didn’t like him after all? What if he was only calling to laugh at him or tell him to stop talking to him? “ _ Stop messaging me. _ ” He’ll say. “ _ I’ve been trying to get this across since day one. It was fun. Now it's not.” _

Will didn’t want that.

Hannibal was just beyond that screen, probably waiting for Will to call first, but he couldn’t bring himself to. The Skype logo was almost blindingly bright, the little green dot next to Hannibal’s name even more so. Was he waiting for Will?

**1:01pm**

Why hadn’t he called yet? Was something wrong? Hannibal seemed like a punctual guy. Did Will have to call first? Why didn’t they discuss this yesterday? 

**1:02pm**

Okay this  _ definitely  _ wasn’t right. Maybe he had gotten caught up with something. Maybe he was just pulling Will’s leg and didn’t actually want to call at all. 

**1:05pm**

Will had given up hope, sitting there and staring at the little green dot. Hannibal was online. Why wasn’t he calling? Did he forget? Did he hate Will? Was he going to-

**Incoming call from: Hannibal Lecter…**

Will hated how quickly he clicked the answer button, too anxious to let it ring any longer than necessary. He tried to act natural, fixing his hair subtly as his screen was filled with a very blurry Hannibal Lecter. 

“Hello, Will! You are not quite as clear as I had hoped, but I can see that you are as stunning as ever.” Hannibal’s voice was like music to Will’s ears and he was suddenly very happy about the shitty boarding school WiFi that they were battling because his face had never been brighter red. 

“Oh. Thanks. You’re um… I can’t see you very well. Gary’s here.” No how are you? Really, Will?

The connection seemed to pick up slightly and Will could suddenly see Hannibal properly, noticing that he was wearing a white button up shirt, black tie and a black blazer with green piping along the edges and a crest where his heart was. His hair was slicked down rather than messy like it had been at pride, but it somehow made him look even better. He was just as beautiful and terrifyingly perfect as Will remembered.

“Gary? Have I caught you at a bad time?” Hannibal sat back, quirking an eyebrow. Will suddenly realised that he had never told Hannibal about his dog with a deceptively human name. He had only referred to him as ‘my dog’ in messages.

“No, no! It’s um…” it seemed best to explain this visually rather than try to explain that Gary was a dog and not a mysterious lover hiding in the shadows until Will hung up the call. 

“Gary! Come here, Boy! Say hi to Hannibal.” He started patting the bed and watched the old dog hop up onto it using his floor pillow as a springboard. Gary was of course delighted that he had been let on the bed for the second time in two days and began licking Will’s face to thank him for his change of heart. “Don’t get any ideas. You’re just lucky that you’re cute.” Will mumbled, scratching behind his ears. Hannibal seemed both surprised and amused by the picture, smiling gently at Will. Will suddenly felt like he was the only person on the planet.

“Ah. I see. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Gary. I hope that Will takes good care of you.” Gary responded by licking Will's face again and curling up in his lap. 

Will could hear someone shouting in the background and he presumed that there were bad kids even in posh boarding schools with black blazers and green piping for a uniform. “I apologise for the background noise. Anthony has decided to ignore my request for quiet.” Hannibal glared over at the source of the noise and turned back to the camera with a cheeky smile.

Anthony? Will had never heard that name before. He hated that he could feel his face start to heat up again as he scratched Gary’s back before letting him back down on the ground.

“Oh it’s okay. Don’t worry. You look- I mean your uniform is-“ he really needed to learn how to speak to Hannibal without tripping over himself, “You look really nice.” For a moment Hannibal didn’t say anything, staying painfully still. Almost too still.

**Reconnecting…**

“Oh for  _ fuck _ sake!” Will could feel frustration building up, about to just end the call when the screen showed Hannibal’s face again, his lovely face. 

“I’m terribly sorry. The internet is awful here. It’s frustrating to sit here and see you and not be able to hold your hand, but we can see each other in a little over a month. You can come to Baltimore and we can go to the art museum. We can do whatever you like. I promise that it will be worth it. I only ask you not to give up on me.” Hannibal seemed upset, scratching at his temple nervously. “I’m only sorry we had to meet the way that we did. Right before I left for two months.” 

Will’s face was alight and his heart was beating in his mouth at Hannibal’s words. He was willing to wait to see Will and Will was willing to wait to see him. Maybe all of his worrying had been for nothing. 

He was about to respond when a face appeared beside Hannibal’s, arms thrown around his neck.

“Are you almost done? I’m really  _ really  _ bored.” The boy in question looked like a more put together version of Will. He had the same slightly curly hair and kind smile except his face was less well proportioned than Will and he looked like he was up to something. Hannibal seemed secretly happy to see him, laughing and pushing him off. 

“Don’t be rude, Anthony. I’m speaking to Will. I’ll be done in a short while.” Will didn’t know why, but he could feel anger rising up under his chin to settle on his tongue. His knuckles were white from gripping the sheets so hard.

“Yeah. He’s booked for now. Unlike you, I can’t see him every minute of the day so I’d appreciate it if you left us be.” Will snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. He knew that Hannibal probably wouldn’t appreciate the aggression and that he wasn’t making the best first impression on Hannibal’s friend, but he didn’t care. His time. Back off.

“Ooooh well  _ sorry _ that I’m bored. There’s only so much poetry I can take and Han is my only entertainment here in a sea of terribly dull rich kids.” Anthony barked back, a sickly sweet smile on his face that Will knew was too good to be true. He could read him like an open book. Mummy and daddy wanted the best for their little angel, but he wasn’t actually as bright as they thought so they shipped him off to an expensive boarding school where the only thing he learned was how to hide his own sexuality under a guise of being overly friendly with everyone. He clearly had a crush on Hannibal as well, hanging out of him as if he were a root jutting out from a cliff that he was plummeting off of. 'Han.' Will could have gagged at the nickname.

“Anthony that’s enough. Give me ten minutes to catch up with Will and I’ll be down. He's right. You can have me any time. He's restricted to Saturday's.” Hannibal glared at him playfully but with some semblance of real malice behind it. Will was relieved when Anthony disappeared from the screen, slinking off into the school again.

Hannibal looked back to the camera with a weary smile, “I’m so sorry about that, Will. He just gets jealous easily. He doesn't have very many friends."

“Oh no it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. He seems… nice. I'm sorry for snapping.” Will was really trying to sound genuine, but it was a struggle when nothing he was feeling right now was genuine at all besides the terrible frustration and jealousy under his skin. “If you need to go it’s okay. I understand that you have an exciting life outside of our Skype bubble.” 

Hannibal looked guilty then, his brow furrowing as he tried to think of a response that would suit the current situation. “As you said, I can see Anthony any time and I can only see you on weekends. What a treat it has been, but I'm afraid I will have to leave soon. I have some study to do.” Will’s heart sank slightly and he nodded. He understood, but it didn’t make it any less depressing to have him go again just when he had gotten him back.

“I just want to ask you something before you go.” Will almost whispered as he pulled his knees up to his chest to try and hide his face a bit. Hannibal nodded slightly as if to tell Will to go ahead. Joan better have been right about this.

“Can you try and text me a little bit more? I know that I said I don’t want to run up my dad’s bill, but seeing you is like a punch to the gut and I really want to get to know you better than this… so you can message me on my phone sometimes if you want.” Hannibal seemed surprised, his face breaking out into a smile.

“Of course. I want nothing more than to get to know you better as well, my sweet. I would talk to you for hours if I could, but I’m afraid I have to go. Give Gary a scratch behind the ears for me and I will call as soon as possible.” Will felt his jaw drop slightly at the nickname. It seemed to imbue him with a new sense of courage.

“Wait!”

Hannibal quirked a brow in response, stalling in his reach for the touchpad.

“I really think I like you. I mean  _ like  _ you so… just don’t go getting a boyfriend or anything, you know? I’d just love to give whatever this is a chance.” Hannibal didn’t say anything and Will’s hands started to shake. Had he fucked everything up entirely? He was totally going to blame this on Joan. It was her fault.

**Reconnecting…**

**Call end.**

Maybe the universe was looking out for him after all, stopping him from making a fool of himself. Or maybe it was just shitting on him. He couldn't be sure what was a blessing and what was a curse. 

He reached down the side of the bed to scratch Gary behind the ears, smiling slightly as his hand was met with a wet nose sniffing curiously at him. 

"That's from Hannibal." He whispered as his phone buzzed beside him.

' _ Your eyes are like an ocean and I could drown in them if I dared to look for long enough. I will wait a million years if it means that I can gaze into them once more.' _

Maybe he did have a chance with Hannibal after all. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Dancing Queen

“Good morning, my dear. I hope that you slept well. Only four more weeks until I can see you again.” 

The morning messages were always similar. Will would wake up to the sound of a notification and see Hannibal’s countdown to when they could meet again. It filled him with a sense of purpose, gave him a goal to work towards. Summer was hard enough without something to look forward to and Hannibal was providing that sense of usefulness that Will needed. 

He had taken the time to try and fix his car so that he could drive up to see Hannibal inBaltimore when the time came. He already had his licence, but he had no way of actually using it. Now he had an incentive to. Maybe they could drive out to the coast and spend a day near the water. 

“Only three more weeks and six days until we can meet again.” 

He had asked Hannibal to text him more and it had worked, but he didn’t think that meant more texts about Anthony. Anthony did this, Anthony did that. Anthony had a nightmare. Anthony took his phone. Every day there was something new about Anthony Dimmond, boy wonder, apple of Hannibal’s eye.

Will was starting to feel a bit like a third wheel. His responses became short and uninterested. He couldn’t help it. He wanted to know how Hannibal was, not how Anthony was. How are you turned into how is Anthony or what did Anthony do today? 

On one Saturday morning, Will was expecting the time for their video call to come through on his phone, but instead he got:

“Anthony and I are going to go on a walk today. I won’t be able to video call. I will ,ale it up to you next week.”

“Oh well far be it from me to interrupt your date. Bye.” Sour words for a sour attitude.

“Will, he’s just my friend.” Will scoffed and typed out a reply quicker than his common sense could catch up to him and tell him not to be an idiot.

“People don’t fuck their friends, Hannibal. They don’t talk about their friends like they’re gods. Enjoy your fucking date.” 

Once he hit send, he immediately realised how rude he had sounded and tried to backtrack, but Hannibal had already replied. Curse his quick fingers.

“Jealousy doesn’t look good on you, Will. I’m sorry that you feel so insecure.” 

It felt like an ultimatum. A ‘sort your jealousy out or don’t come back’ kind of situation. He pulled his pillow up to his face and screamed into it, the anger that he was feeling coming out in unholy screeches that made Gary skitter along the floor anxiously. Despite the pillow, they were obviously loud enough to rouse his father who came wandering into the room, holding his head, no doubt nursing a hangover.

“Keep it down, boy! You could tear the house down with those screams.” And, to Will’s surprise, Beau sat down on the bed next to him, letting out a soft huff, “What’s the matter? Something got you down?” 

It was awkward to have his father try to sound concerned. They usually just coexisted more like roommates than father and son, living under the same roof and living totally separate lives. They very rarely found themselves in the same room for more than the length of a TV dinner. This concern was… concerning.

“Sorry. A friend just decided he didn’t want to be my friend anymore.” Will shrugged slightly. It wasn’t true. Hannibal hadn’t cut him off. He had just told him that he was jealous which was completely warranted but didn’t mean it hurt any less. 

His father pursed his lips and glanced up at the wall behind Will’s head. He seemed pensive. 

“Is this friend more than a friend?” Will’s stomach clenched at the question. This was not a conversation he wanted to have. He looked up at the wall behind him and bit his lip slightly. Hannibal’s pride flag was still hanging there. Will knew that he was playing with fire by putting it up in the first place, but his dad never came into his room. Not until now, at least. 

Will felt himself welling up as he began to ramble, “Daddy I’m so sorry. I can’t help it! I saw him and he was just so- so beautiful and I know I like girls as well, but why can’t I like both? I mean- he’s the only- I only like him. I’m sorry.” The tears were flowing freely now as he clutched his pillow to his chest, the fabric becoming darker with tears. He began tensing up in preparation for whatever came next. 

All that came was the soft sound of his father chuckling and the feeling of a pat on the top of the head which caused him to curl up into himself even further. He felt like a turtle. He wasn’t sure he liked it.

“You’re not mad?” He looked up from under his lashes, half his face still covered.

“It’s your life. I ain’t never cared about nothing you did anyway. Why start now?” To any other kid this would be devastating, but to Will it was like music to his ears. At least he still had a roof over his head and a father who wasn’t completely absent. It wasn’t as if he was losing anything. He had a lot to be thankful for. 

“Now, tell me what happened so I can try and help. I might not be all that good at feelin’s and whatnot, but I’ll try.” Will just shook his head and set his pillow down on the bed so that he could actually look at his father. His face broke into a sly little smile.

“I’d rather if we just went back to coping with each other and forgot that this ever happened, yeah?” His father laughed and stood up, jutting his hand out to shake. Will obliged and then waved awkwardly as his father left the room. A weight lifted off his shoulders. At least he didn’t have to talk to his father for another three to five business days.

He turned back to his computer and began typing.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I don’t regret saying what I said, but I’m sorry that it came out in such an offensive way. This isn’t easy. This isn’t going to get any easier. Even when you aren’t in fancy medical prep school you’re two hours away by car. It’s not that I’m not willing to go the distance, it's just that I don’t know if I can trust myself to keep my jealousy under control. I’m sorry that I ever thought this was going to work, but that’s the nature of love. We’re often blind to the problems in our haze of passion and god knows I have a lot of that for you. Goodbye, Hannibal.” 

He hit send and closed his laptop. That was that. Done. 

He wiped his tears with the back of his hand and stood up from his bed. 

It was time to go fishing.

-

For the first time in weeks, Will’s head felt clear as he stood knee deep in the river. His line was bobbing on the surface of the water in search of fish. Will didn’t really care if he caught anything. The aim of fishing was to relax him and give him time to get away from his thoughts and focus on the calm of the stream. 

Hannibal hadn’t replied yet and Will doubted that he would. He decided to pretend that he didn’t care about it at all and just focused on the task at hand. The water felt nice around his boots and the fresh air which rifled through his hair was refreshing. It definitely beat the smell of motor oil.

He stood there for hours, listening to the sound of the water swishing past his ears and around his feet. The sound was comforting, familiar, soothing. His thoughts were mostly free from Hannibal Lecter, but occasionally his heart would clench at the memories of their first day together. He could still see the look in his eyes the first time they met his own, the smell of his skin as he touched his hand for the first time, the softened of his lips as they pressed against his. The difference between now and that day was that the memories were tinged with a bittersweet tang of pain. Why couldn’t he have just waited a month?

“You cut your nose off to spite your face, Willy. You really did.” He mumbled softly to himself as he recast his line, wading further into the water. 

He didn’t catch anything.

-

“Come on, Will. Stop being such a grump! It’s your birthday!” Beverly yelled as she draped a metallic crinkly banner over his body that said BIRTHDAY BOY in big blue bubble letters. He didn’t really feel like celebrating. There was nothing to celebrate in his opinion. It was only a stupid birthday. He didn’t see what the big deal was.

They had been sitting in his living room for around three hours, drinking to his new age, his newfound sexual legality. Even though he didn’t actually have anyone to share this legality with anymore. 

“Just gimme another drink.” He slurred in response slightly, reaching out for the bottle of whiskey in Brian’s hand. He had a free house for the weekend and, despite his bitterness at his father’s absence on his seventeenth birthday, he saw it as a perfect opportunity for him and his friends to get absolutely hammered in his living room. 

They were all living up to the promise. By now, Beverly and Jimmy were dancing around the living room to Dancing Queen and pointing at Will every time only seventeen played. This was the fourth time it had been played that evening and they still managed to find it hilarious every single time. If it hadn’t have been ABBA, Will would have found it monotonous.

Brian was rubbing Will’s back as they both made their way through a bottle of whiskey from Will’s sock drawer that he reserved for only the most special occasions after stealing it from his dad on his sixteenth birthday. Today was a special occasion.

“Leave him alone, Bev! He’s grieving!” Brian pouted playfully as he filled another glass for Will to nurse only for it to be thrown back down Will’s throat as soon as it was in his hand, “How do you even do that? How do you not throw up? I’m impressed.” 

Will gagged slightly, “Actually, I think I might throw up.” And with that, Will jumped up, swaying on his feet slightly as he scrambled up the stairs to the bathroom, tailed by Brian who was hungry for gossip about his old orchestra camp chum.

“Come on, buddy. You’re gonna have to slow down. You’ll regret it tomorrow if you don’t.” Will grumbled in reply as he threw himself down on his knees in front of the toilet and began heaving into the bowl, tears springing up into his eyes as all the pain from the last week came out along with his vomit. 

“Why didn’t he like me? What’s so special about Anthony Dimmond?” He made a face when he said his name, choking back a sob as he threw up yet again. Brian just sighed and knelt down next to him, rubbing his back.

“He’s been friends with Anthony since he started school, Will. You can’t ask him to stop being friends with someone because you feel threatened by him. That’s toxic.” Will narrowed his eyes at Brian and sat back on his feet in surrender. He felt completely defeated by his own feelings. 

“I didn’t know that they were friends before summer camp. I just thought he was teasing me for the sake of it.” He whispered, covering his face with his hands as a glass of water was pushed into his hand. He swallowed it down without complaint and looked at Brian, really looked at him, “I think I really like him, Brian. I like talkin’ to him and hearing about his day. I just don’t like hearing about Anthony.” He made the same face as he had before, crinkling his nose up slightly as if the name left a sour taste in his mouth. Realistically it was just the vomit he was tasting.

“Discovering stuff about yourself isn’t fun, okay? Especially when the person who made you discover it is far away.” Will frowned slightly as Brian’s eyes darkened, “or unavailable.” Will knew that he meant Jimmy. The two were thick as thieves, but Jimmy was in a long distance relationship with a twenty year old tattoo artist with a man bun. Will felt sorry for Brian. He knew how it felt to want something he couldn’t have.

“What if we discovered stuff together? Y’know… figured ourselves out?” Will whispered, hands shaking slightly from his previous activity of removing every ounce of liquid from his body.

“Will, I don’t-“ Will cut him off with a kiss. For a moment, Brian kissed back before Will began leaning into it as Brian leaned away, eventually disconnecting their mouths entirely, “No! You don’t get to just use me as collateral because you got jealous and pushed Hannibal away. Either get your jealousy sorted out and realise you’re the one in the wrong or stop thinking about him and come back to me, okay? I’m not going to be your second choice.” Brian's eyes were watery, threatening to spill over entirely, “You can’t just use people when it suits you, Will.” 

Will was shocked into silence and growled slightly, “Whatever.” He slurred as he got to his feet and stumbled down the stairs. Gary the dog whined at the door to be let out and Will unlocked it, watching as he barked his way out into the night air. He wandered out after the collie, sitting on the porch when Bev came out to join him.

“You okay?” She whispered and sat down next to him, pulling her legs up to her chest to shield from the chilly summer air. “Brian told us what happened. You’re really hung up on this guy, aren’t you?” It wasn’t a question so much as a statement. Will couldn’t help but laugh and nod his head.

“Yeah. ‘m smitten…” he mumbled and rested his head on her shoulder, closing his eyes. “D’you ever look at someone and your heart starts going like… what’s it called? Boom boom boom, y’know?” Beverly nodded slightly.

“Yeah… boom boom boom.” She repeated thoughtfully, gazing off into the distance. Will huffed and nudged his nose against her neck, an affectionate gesture. 

“He’s got such pretty eyes… an’ his cheekbones are so so so so sharp… Bev, can I tell you something?” He asked softly, vulnerability leaking from his voice. 

“Yeah! Of course! You can always tell me stuff!” She shrieked, laughing happily as she turned to look at Will, eyes gleaming in the porch light. 

“You know when we were away for three hours at pride and you guys were having fun?” She nodded, smiling brightly. “Well Hannibal took me to a bench an’ we sat there an’ he got real close an’-“ he stopped, his attention caught by Gary coming up to nose at his knee, “Gary! Look, Bev! Gary!” He smiled widely and began rubbing the dog’s belly as Bev nudged him, wanting to know what had happened. 

“Oh! Right! Yeah an’ then he kissed me right here.” Will put his finger up to his lips and Bev squealed which spooked Gary and sent him sprinting off into the night again.

“Oh my God! Will has a boyfriend! I thought you were just friend jealous of him!” Will shut her down quickly,

“He’s not my boyfriend! I want him to be I guess, but he’s not my boyfriend. Tha’s the problem!” He slurred, leaning his head against the porch column in utter defeat, “He’s got this friend Anthony who’s all touchy an’ stuff… I’m jealous of him.” He mumbled, looking at her nervously.

“Call him! Tell him how you feel! Okay okay say this, okay? This is gonna get you your man.” She cleared her throat, “I’m sorry for being jealous, but it’s only because I really like you and I think that we should be together. He’ll love that. I swear.” Will considered it for a moment and nodded slightly. It seemed perfect. Maybe it was just the drink talking, but honestly seemed like the best policy.

“Fine, fine okay I’ll call him!” Will hiccuped and leaned against her again, laughing slightly, “Oh my god… maybe I will have a boyfriend. What if I have a boyfriend, Bev? Will you guys all get jealous an’ stuff? You know when friends start gettin’ all peeved ‘cause I don’t spend any time with you anymore?” His words were barely a mumble at this point. The alcohol was beginning to wear him down and he felt his eyelids getting heavy as Bev shoved him lightly in mock annoyance.

“Of course we won’t be jealous, you idiot. You never hang out with us anyway. Plus, you’ll be happy instead of grumpy all the time.” She teased, standing up suddenly which caused Will to fall face first onto the decking with a groan. 

When he looked up, Beverly had her hand outstretched towards him, smiling wildly in the night air, “Come on, Will! Dancing Queen! Young and sweet, only seventeen!” She laughed, coaxing Will up to dance with her. Reluctantly, Will agreed, standing up and beginning to dance to nothing as Beverly sang the lyrics loudly and terribly. 

“You can’t hold a note!” He laughed and spun her around quickly.

They danced like that for a while with Brian and Jimmy joining them a short while later. The neighbours had begun to get pissed off but none of them cared in the slightest. They were having fun. Something that Will hadn’t had in a long time.

It felt as if his problems were minuscule in comparison to the happiness he was feeling and suddenly the lyric Having the time of your life had new meaning. He really did feel like the dancing queen. 

Seeing Beverly laugh and bound through the grass with reckless abandon, watching Jimmy and Brian finally have a heart to heart about their feelings, and dancing until he was dizzy made him realise that he had things really, really good here. He felt confident and ready to tell Hannibal how he felt. 

All he had to do now was actually call him.

-

After a nightcap and getting his friends settled, Will walked up the stairs accompanied by Gary the dog. His head was spinning and he felt giddy laughter bubbling up in his chest as he got ready for bed. He knew that he’d feel awful in the morning, but he didn’t care. 

He stripped down into his boxers and his undershirt, crawling under the covers with Gary at the foot of the bed. His room was spinning around like a carousel which made him start to laugh. 

Just before he decided to turn in for the night, he checked his phone and noticed the familiar sight of a text notification from Hannibal. The first in well over a week.

“Happy birthday, Will.” Was all it said. It was all it needed to say to give Will a kick in the right direction.

His finger hovered over the call button, contemplating whether now was the best time to act on his feelings. It might have been wiser to wait until he was sober, but his body ached with need and he knew that he had to do it and he had to do it now.

He pressed dial.


	4. Oblivious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day to day life of Hannibal Lecter in boarding school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! I'm not great at writing Hannibal and this chapter was a bitch to write, but I hope that it at least turned out okay!

The sound of the shrill bell roused Hannibal from sleep as usual. He sat up slowly and stretched out, his T-shirt riding up slightly which he corrected quickly by yanking it down over his hips again. He yawned and ran his fingers through his hair, ready to start yet another day of learning about anatomy and the wonders of correctly preparing a body for surgery.

His hand twitched at his phone, the desire to pick it up and text Will strong, but he knew better. Will needed to realise that his behaviour was unacceptable and that he had to treat both Hannibal  _ and  _ Anthony with respect if he was going to have Hannibal in the way that he desired. 

“Hannibal! Are you up yet? Come on. Shower.” Speak of the devil. 

Anthony looked thoroughly tousled by sleep, his eyes lidded and heavy and his smile weary. Gorgeous as usual. 

“I’m up, I’m up. Give me three minutes and I’ll meet you there, okay?” Hannibal smiled as he pulled the covers off of his legs, setting his feet on the cold wooden floor with a shiver. How could a building be so cold even in the height of summer? He was convinced that the school had its own microclimate akin to that of the arctic circle. He was freezing.

The room around him was awful. The walls were a rather sickly yellow, the floors dark stained oak. The colours clashed horribly, jarring to the eye in the worst possible way. It reminded him of a throwback to the eighties, bright colours now faded and mottled from the sun.

There was a row of three beds on each wall of the small room and three sinks down at the end, covered in five toothbrushes. Hannibal kept his own in his dresser. He’d rather die than allow his fellow students’ germs to collect on his toothbrush. 

“Fine. Just don’t take too long. I want to get a good seat at breakfast.” Anthony frowned, crossing his arms across his chest as he skipped out of the room towards the showers as always. Hannibal smiled softly, admiring him as he went. 

“A table is a table, Anthony!” He yelled after him as he stood up to gather his wash bag. It was fine leather, filled with his favourite shampoo, soap and aftershave. The other boys in the room glared at him for making so much noise but he didn’t care. They had to get up anyway. What difference would a few minutes make? 

He unzipped his bag and added his toothbrush to the collection of items within before zipping it back up. He gathered his towel under his arm and began his walk to the showers. 

On each floor of the massive complex were four dormitories. Hannibal’s being the smallest on his floor. The other three had thirteen beds each along with the highly sought after partitions between beds and a wardrobe per person. Hannibal’s dormitory had no privacy whatsoever, but he didn’t really care. He did, however, wish for the extra space. Three drawers and a single hook to hang his blazers and shirts on was not nearly enough for his liking, but it was only for a few months. He had survived this far.

The girl’s dormitories were on the other side of the school entirely, inaccessible at night time due to the constant patrol of guards. It was almost laughable. Schools were always so sure to shut down any potential for a heterosexual romance, but allowed Alana Bloom and Margot Verger to make out in the washroom every single morning.

“No funny business will be tolerated under this roof.” Was what the dean had said, but it hadn’t stopped Hannibal Lecter so far. He didn’t plan on stopping either. He considered it valuable practice for later life. That and he had a gorgeous partner to explore with. 

“Finally.” An exasperated sigh came from the showers as Hannibal approached, feet sticking to the warming floorboards as he got closer to the steam filled room. Thankfully, privacy was allowed in the showers. There were eight cubicles in the room, tiny little showers housed within. The problem was, there were always queues to get to them in the mornings. Hannibal and Anthony had discovered that the easiest way to overcome this trouble was just to share with one another. 

“I apologise. I had to get my things ready.” He purred into Anthony’s ear as the door before them unlocked and a boy stepped out, shrouded in steam and red from the heat. Hannibal sighed softly and rubbed his eyes, knowing that all the hot water would be gone when they got in there. It seemed he was destined to remain cold all day.

“Come on. Breakfast.” Anthony mumbled as he yanked Hannibal into the tiny room. Hannibal locked the door and began to strip off, hanging his bed clothes up on the hooks along with his towel so that they didn’t get completely soaked. 

“You are obsessed with food, Anthony.” Teased Hannibal with a nip to the top of his ear which earned a yelp from the boy and a soft pink blush across his cheeks. 

“Says the guy who won’t eat a chicken nugget because it’s too processed.” With an eye roll, Anthony stepped into the shower, turning the water on and cursing lightly, “Fucking asshole used up all the hot water. Bastard.” Anthony grumbled as he started to lather his body up with Hannibal’s soap. Unapologetically stealing it. Hannibal’s boy was bold to say the least.

“Language, Anthony.” Hannibal scolded as he slipped into the shower behind him, sliding the glass door shut. He wrapped his arms around Anthony and plucked the soap from his hand gently, growling playfully, “Stealing is incredibly rude.” 

Anthony shuddered visibly and turned to face Hannibal, a devious smile on his face, eyes bright and mischievous. His eyebrow cocked and he leaned up close to Hannibal, pressing against him suggestively.

“Why don’t you teach me some manners then?”

-

The breakfast hall was packed as usual, full of tired chatter and sleepy faces. The air was thrumming with spoons clinking off of bowls, knives spreading butter on overdone toast and the distinct hollow sound of a chair being scraped on the tile floors. 

The uniform was simple. Grey slacks for the boys, grey skirts for the girls, white shirts and green ties with a blazer that seemed to weigh more than a winter coat. Painfully warm in the summer, not warm enough in the winter. Thank god Hannibal wouldn’t have to wear it as soon as this month was done. He’d be off to medical school, off to a new life.

Sitting at a small table were two girls, a blonde and a brunette, chatting over bowls of granola and sad looking oranges. 

“What kept you?” The blonde looked up from her breakfast, raising an eyebrow at the two wet haired boys in front of the table, armed with plates of toast and barely ripe apples.

“The queue for the showers was almost criminal. We’re sorry to keep you waiting.” Hannibal smiled, slipping into the seat next to her with a smile and a kiss to the cheek which she groaned at but didn’t dare to wipe away. She bordered constantly on the precipice of rudeness, never slipping off the edge. 

The brunette threw some blue flash cards at Hannibal and yelled, “Quiz me!” enthusiastically. Hannibal laughed and plucked the cards up in one hand, holding his toast in the other. After swallowing a bite he began to speak in his best game show host voice which wasn’t very good and so he gave up almost immediately. 

“Alana Bloom, for an entire jar of instant coffee beans, what are the main differences between blood and lymph.” Alana gasped, looking down at the table for a moment. Coffee beans were a rare treat and an entire jar was almost unheard of. This was practically life or death.

“Blood has platelets, red obviously, fast moving and carries more nutrients. 

Lymph basically just carries fats.” Hannibal shrugged. It was good enough. He tossed the cards to Anthony to continue quizzing her further as he turned to the blonde instead.

“Did you sleep well?” He smiled as she rolled her eyes slightly. She hated the social niceties that Hannibal bombarded her with every single morning, but she still put up with him. He considered her to be his best friend.

“No thanks to you. I could have done without the graphic descriptions of your sex life, Hannibal.” She hissed, but there was little malice behind it, “anyway. How’s your little Anthony substitute?” She mumbled as she started to peel her orange, the scent of citrus burning his nose as the question burned the back of his throat. 

“He’s not an Anthony substitute.” He chided, taking another bite of toast. He wasn’t really a substitute. Yes, Hannibal was aware that, once this course was over, Anthony would go to Italy to meet his family who were on holiday for the remainder of the summer. He was aware that he’d feel lonely without him, but that didn’t change the fact that Will was so much  _ more  _ than Anthony. “I am refusing to speak to him. His jealousy leaves an unsavoury taste in my mouth.” 

“Yeah well you can’t just be a boy’s first kiss and then start talking about another boy who you’ve been fucking in the shower every few days and expect him to be completely fine with that. You’re being naive if you think that he’s just going to be this perfect little flower for you to pick up as soon as Anthony leaves. Stop leading him on.” In contrast to her previous words, these ones were full of malice, full of anger. Hannibal chewed his lip thoughtfully as he turned his apple over in his hand, a fruit plucked from growth before it could reach its full potential. It reminded him of Will, a boy bound by circumstance and destined to be a mechanic instead of reaching his full potential.

“His manner was rude, Bedelia. You know how I feel about rudeness.” His tone was matter-of-fact. He took a bite of the apple, the taste bitter on his tongue. He let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair. “I do wish they’d buy some fresh fruit. I’m sick of supermarket scraps.” His attempt to change the subject was rapidly brushed off as the onslaught continued.

“Yes, but I also know how you feel about him and I think you’re being an idiot.” Bedelia started plainly, standing up to bring her dishes to the trolley. Hannibal’s hand twitched at his side, desperate to grab that blonde ponytail and yank her back to him, but he let it go, taking a few breaths to steady himself. 

The bell, usually undesired in its shrillness, came as a relief as everyone scattered to their morning classes.

-

His classes were interesting as usual. Hannibal had a passion for anatomy and didn’t mind the monotony of learning each and every bone, joint and muscle in the human body. His mind was, however, annoyingly occupied by the words that Bedelia had said to him. Perhaps he had been too hard on Will. He had to admit that he was playing a dangerous game by speaking with Will while Anthony was so active in his life, but Anthony was more of a friend’s with benefits situation while Will had far more potential than that. Will had a beautiful mind and a curious disposition. He was soft spoken yet firm in his opinions. He had all the features that Anthony had, but he was more rugged with bright blue doe eyes that held so much mystery just waiting to be uncovered.

Hannibal was content with Anthony, but he was  _ excited  _ by Will.

“Mr Lecter? Are you paying attention?” The voice of his least favourite teacher, a cranky old man with grey hair and skinny arms, rang out through the room, pulling Hannibal from his thoughts. 

“Yes, Sir. I apologise.” He nodded his head slightly, glancing over the board to ready himself for whatever question he was going to be asked, but it never came. 

-

After his daily classes and lacklustre meals, Hannibal had a choice to make. He could either study with the girls, speak with Anthony, or go and swim. He weighed up his options. He had been distracted most of the day and had missed a lot of important information, but he could always ask for notes the next morning. After his thoughts about Will earlier he wasn’t too sure he even wanted to see Anthony just yet. 

That left one option. Swimming. 

He was by no means a professional, but he had access to the pool after hours due to his prowess throughout high school. He had made a promise to only use the pool for fitness purposes, but today he had a different activity in mind. He needed to relax and think. The pool was the perfect place for that.

He wandered upstairs to his dorm to grab his trunks and a towel, checking his phone in the hopes of a text from Will, but to no avail. Perhaps Will was still seething, avoiding him. Or, on the other hand, perhaps he was simply respecting Hannibal’s boundaries. In all fairness, Hannibal hadn’t messaged him or made any attempt to reach out since their little debacle.

“I’m going swimming, Anthony. Go to bed if you wish. I might be a while.” Anthony seemed upset by the bluntness of his words, but didn’t say anything, allowing Hannibal to walk down the hall towards the stairwell. 

-

The pool was quiet as usual. One other swimmer had just about finished his laps and was getting ready to leave. He’d soon have some much needed alone time. 

He changed into his shorts and slipped into the water, allowing the cold to wash over him, earning a sigh from his lips. The other swimmer jumped out after one more lap and disappeared into the changing rooms as Hannibal lay back in the water, listening to it sloshing around his ears. 

He considered Will Graham again, imagining him in the corners of his mind, lurking in the shadows. He closed his eyes, feeling his body start to relax in the water as Will occupied his mind. Had he really been so cruel to him? Tormented him with tales of grandeur from the walls of a summer boarding school? Had Will really been so obvious in his affections? Hannibal had never been oblivious before, but suddenly he felt like a fool. Perhaps he had cut Will away too early. 

He was reminded of an image of Will in the water, river water up to his ankles as he cast a line out to the horizon in hopes of a bite and some semblance of peace and quiet in the halls of his mind. The beauty in that brain was unparalleled, raw and full of potential. Hannibal felt like he may have an equal after all.

In the dim light of the pool, a certain sense of surrealism washed through the space and he could almost feel Will next to him as the shapes of the water danced on the ceiling above him, bunting floating steadily in the air of the conditioning unit.

If he looked to his right, Will stood in the water, casting his line off into the deep end of the pool, stoic and steady as if he were on land. To his left, Anthony lay on the water, floating in his uniform and clutching a red rose to his chest just as Sleeping Beauty had in her tale. He looked elegant, innocent. 

Hannibal had a choice to make and it wouldn’t be an easy one. Would he choose his Sleeping Beauty or would he give up his good name, his wealth and social standing, in order to take the young temptress as his own? 

He weighed up his options, dunking his head under the water to try and free himself of the apparitions on the surface. In the cold embrace of the water, he felt arms around him, phantom arms that pulled him down deeper, deeper still. Arms that Hannibal didn’t know well. He knew that they weren’t Anthony’s. They were slightly more muscular, shorter. They were Will’s.

-

He slept better that night than he had in weeks, a new sense of clarity breaking through the fog over his brain and he woke the next morning with more energy than he thought he ever had. He wanted Will. Will clearly wanted him. 

Hannibal’s phone pinged quietly under his pillow, a calendar reminder for Will’s birthday. He bit his lip slightly and considered sending a message before pushing it back under his pillow, out of sight, out of mind. 

“Hey there, Sleepy Head~” Hannibal felt familiar arms around him and twitched slightly at the intrusion on his personal space. He shrugged him off as gently as possible, holding his hand instead. 

“Come for a walk with me, Dear Anthony. I have something to talk to you about.” Anthony smiled and nodded, slipping off to get dressed and ready for the day. Might as well rip the bandaid off as quickly as possible. There was no need to drag this out any longer. He needed to devote his full attention to Will. To do that, he had to limit his relationship with Anthony.

He got dressed in his uniform, a clean one for the weekend. He straightened his tie and made sure he looked good, brushing a piece of lint off of his shoulder. He brushed his teeth and fixed his hair in place with his hair gel and sighed slightly. This wouldn’t be easy. 

-

The walk down by the lake was pleasant, but Hannibal could feel the ghost of Will everywhere. He could see him in the lake, could see him on the benches by the water, looking out at the ducks as they waddled the shore. 

“What did you need to talk about?” Anthony asked, swinging their hands as they joined together at their sides. He was so happy, all smiles and bright eyes.

“I must talk about our relationship as it stands.” He took a breath and sat down on a bench, cringing slightly at how similar it was to his first meeting with Will. Anthony joined him, apprehensive about what was about to be said. Rightly so. 

“You are aware that, before I arrived here, I began speaking to Will Graham?” It was more of a statement than a question, but he waited for a nod before he continued, “Well I have been thinking about the ethics of our relationship in relation to what I’m feeling for Will.” Anthony’s face began to fall slightly as he realised what was being said.

“Oh…”

“Yes. Oh.” He sighed slightly and closed his eyes, squeezing Anthony’s hand again, “I’m sorry to have to do this, but I think it may be unfair to Will to keep seeing you while speaking to him. I know it may seem unfair as you are here and he is so far away, but this is the way it must be. You have every right to lash out, hit me, cry on my shoulder, but this is the way it has to be.” Anthony’s mood was only given away by the tears welling up at his lash line. 

“You are no lesser than Will. You are incredible, my dear Anthony… you are a rose amongst the dandelions.” He reached up gently to wipe a tear away only for Anthony to pull back, avoiding Hannibal’s hand by a hair. 

“You really do only think of yourself, don’t you? Everyone else’s feelings are collateral. You’ve spent months making me feel as if I’m the most amazing person in the world all while you were texting some piece on the side. You weighed us up against one another, tested the waters with both of us and then decided that I was the one to get the chop.” He spat, hand gripping Hannibal’s in an almost bruising constraint, but it soon relaxed slightly as a huff passed his lips. “I can’t stay mad at you, Hannibal. The heart wants what it wants, but you’ll have to give me a few days to process all of this.” 

“Understandable. Please know that I have enjoyed our time together greatly and will remember it fondly.” He leaned in slightly and ghosted his lips over Anthony's in the hopes of some reciprocation. Instead, he got a slap to the face which was warranted, but not any less painful. He leaned back and laughed quietly, pressing a cool palm to his cheek to ease the ache slightly. “I deserved that.” 

Anthony grinned, standing up quickly, “I’ll see you at lunch, Lecter. You still owe me a study session.” He winked and skipped off in his particular way, leaving Hannibal dazed on the bench with only the sound of the ducks to keep him company.

-

That evening, he decided to bite the bullet and message Will. It was simple, nothing fancy, but it showed his interest, his willingness to forgive. 

“Happy birthday, Will.” 

He hit send, hoping that he hadn’t made the wrong choice. He had given up his sleeping beauty for a fisherman with a bad temper and gorgeous brown curls. Perhaps he was crazy, but he didn’t care. Life was definitely about to get a bit more interesting. 

-

He found it difficult to sleep that night, tossing and turning on his too warm pillows S kicking his legs out from under the blankets only to get too cold and have to retreat back into them once again. His brain was filled with thoughts of Will. He had made amends with Anthony at lunch and they were amicable in their separation, but it didn’t change the fact that he had broken a relationship off before he even knew if the boy he was after was truly interested in him. It was all giving him a headache. 

Finally, around one in the morning, sleep came, pulling him into a comfortable, dreamless rest. 

The peace didn’t last long as he was awoken to the sound of his phone buzzing beneath his pillow. He checked the caller ID under the blankets to avoid waking his dorm mates and almost choked when he was greeted by “Will” as it lit his phone screen up. He yawned and answered the phone as he began walking to the bathrooms down the hall.

“Will, it’s two in the morning. Is this urgent?” Hannibal whispered softly down the phone as he closed the bathroom door, hoping to block most of the noise of the call out from the rest of the school. His tone was irritated, but in reality he was delighted that Will had called even if it was at two in the morning. 

Pulling his arm around him to preserve some warmth, Hannibal settled in for whatever Will was about to tell him and hoped, silently hoped, that this might be a new beginning for them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that the next chapter will finally end the slow-burning pining thats been going on. Thanks for sticking with me!


	5. The Fault In Hannibal Lecter’s Movie Taste

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry for how long this took. I have zero excuses. Anyway I hope the long awaited phone call makes up for it.

“Will, it’s two in the morning. Is this urgent?” Hannibal whispered softly down the phone. The echo surrounding his voice told Will that he was in the bathroom to try and be more considerate to his fellow students. 

“Don’t care. It’s my birthday!” Will slurred, clutching the phone like a vice grip in his hand. He took a little breath and tried to stitch his sentences together in a way that might be able to be understood. 

“‘M sorry for bein’ jealous… don’t wanna share you with nobody.” 

“Anybody.” Hannibal mused with a soft laugh, stifled by a hand. He sounded so sweet like this, tired and happy to be hearing from Will. It made his heart leap in his chest slightly. 

“Oh yeah. Anybody.” He laughed too, not bothering to stifle his own. The others had probably passed out by now and if they hadn’t, they were still drinking. Either way, Will didn’t care. 

“First of all I want to wish you a happy birthday despite the late hour. I can tell that you have been enjoying your evening.” Will wanted to thank him, but he continued far too quickly, “Now, I must apologise for my behaviour, Will. I shouldn’t have been so blatant with my appreciation for Anthony. It was unfair of me to lead both of you on, as they say. I only hope that We’ll be able to get past this and move on to something wonderful.” Will could feel the apprehension on the end of the phone and found himself whining slightly at the thickness of the air in the room around him.

“Somethin’s wrong… I can feel it in my bones as my daddy would say.” He laughed slightly and lay back on the bed, “Talk to me, Hannibal. I wanna know what’s goin’ on in that pretty little head of yours.” He purred, smiling like an idiot down the phone.

“I haven’t been entirely honest with you and I feel that honesty may be the best way to go forward, but before I begin, May I just say that I am extremely entertained by your current state of being.” Hannibal’s almost nervous laugh was like music to his ears. He hadn’t heard it in far too long. A small blush crept up onto his cheeks as the compliment actually sank in for the first time. 

“You are always allowed to be entertained by me, Baby.” He mumbled as he tested the pet name out on his tongue, his eyes slipping closed as the room began to spin a bit too much to be fun anymore. Something about the whole situation was making him giddy. Perhaps it was the alcohol, perhaps it was just hearing the slight lilt of Hannibal’s accent, thick with sleep. He wondered if his hair was a mess or if he was wearing pyjamas. He seemed like the type to wear pyjamas made out of silk and sleep on satin sheets. Maybe the other way around. Maybe he just slept naked, although Will didn’t really see how that would work in a boarding school.

“Yes, well I have to tell you something. I would appreciate it if you could keep quiet for roughly two minutes and then you can speak as much as you like.” Will nodded and put his finger to his lip as if Hannibal could see him. When he realised that Hannibal couldn’t see him, he started to laugh quietly but shut himself up again as Hannibal started to speak to him.

Hannibal took a breath and continued, “I know that I told you that Anthony was just a friend and this is true, but I am afraid it was something slightly more than that. You see, while in boarding school, life can get extremely boring and lonely and Anthony was a good way to ward off the loneliness.” Will frowned slightly, sitting up in bed. He was afraid of where this was going.

“Anthony and I have slept together several times and the only reason I’m telling you this is because I want us to be honest. I’m sorry if this changes your feelings for me.” 

“My feelings? No. My trust? Yes.” Will hissed down the phone. “I thought you were this perfect person who never did anything wrong, but here you are… doin’ things wrong.” He mumbled quietly, looking at the flag behind him with his brow furrowed unhappily. “Have you ended things? I mean I guess I don’t really care. We’re not official or nothin’- no. Anythin’.” He corrected, laughing quietly, his southern drawl coming out under the influence of alcohol. 

“I informed Anthony this afternoon that I would no longer be romantically involved with him. I want to throw myself wholly and completely into our relationship.” Hannibal sighed down the phone, “You are quite allowed to be angry with me if you feel angry. I will call you again tomorrow and tell you this again so that you remember.” 

“Shut up. ‘M done bein’ angry with you. Can we just forget ‘bout all this shit and get back to bein’ happy?” Will mumbled, a yawn tugging at his throat. He was starting to fall asleep, but he couldn’t bring himself to hang up the phone. “Tell me ‘bout your day. Tell me ‘bout you.” He whispered softly, smiling at the little laugh that came down the phone.

“Alright. We’ll let bygones be bygones.” Hannibal mused. Will heard him shift on the other end of the phone, probably trying to get comfortable on the cold tile or toilet seat. 

“What would you like to know, my sweet boy?” He asked softly, pulling a sleepy smile to Will’s lips.

“Anything… tell me where you’re from, what you like to do. I feel like I know nothin’ about you.” Will could hear Gary snoring on the floor next to his bed which wasn’t helping him to stay awake. If anything it was lulling him further into sleep with its rhythmic timbre.

“Well I was born in Lithuania to a very wealthy count and countess. I was the eldest of two by six years. My little sister became my charge, my life.” Will smiled slightly, mumbling something completely incoherently down the phone. He wasn’t even sure what he was saying. He yawned again, a bit more obviously this time. He was sure it could be seen as rude but he didn’t really care. His brain wasn’t entirely his own at that moment.

“When my family was killed I was adopted by my aunt Murasaki and spent a brief period in France before moving to America in the hopes of getting the best education available to me. During a trip to Italy I discovered cooking and developed quite the passion for it.” 

Will had stopped listening. He had fallen asleep long before Hannibal even started talking about his aunt or moving around. Hannibal must have realised this because, when Will woke up, the phone, which was underneath him, had been hung up and a text had been sent saying, ‘Give me a call when you feel better. I can do a video call at around 4pm. We have much to discuss.’

Will had never felt or looked worse in his life and it didn’t help that Beverly was yelling at him from downstairs whether he wanted pancakes or not. Even the smell of them was enough to make Will’s head spin with nausea but he forced himself up anyway. Gary needed feeding and a runaround. He dragged himself up out of bed, holding his head to try and stave off some of the dizziness that washed over him. He quickly picked up his phone and typed out a reply to Hannibal. 

‘I’m never drinking again. I’ll see you at 4:30. Make sure you use your indoor voice with me. I’m feeling delicate.’ He followed it up with around six throwing up emojis to illustrate his point. 

He couldn’t help but wonder what Hannibal wanted to discuss and how he knew that Will was feeling unwell. Hesitantly, he opened his call log and was almost sick when he saw a twenty minute long phone call between himself and Hannibal, none of which Will could remember. 

“Fuck, shit. Okay. Come on Gary! Let’s go outside!” He whistled and started walking down the stairs with the collie at his heels, tail wagging almost comically quickly. When Will unlocked the door he sprinted off into the garden, pouncing through the dew soaked grass to stretch his legs. He’d think about Hannibal later. For now, he had to focus on not dying of the worst hangover he had ever felt in his short life. 

Will took a moment to breathe in the cold air to ground himself before walking back towards the scent of pancakes.

-

Once Will had removed his friends from his house, he went upstairs to have a shower. While he waited for the water to heat up he considered the medicine cabinet and the contents held within. He bit his lip slightly and reached out to grab a bottle of Advil, popping two into his mouth before putting the bottle back and closing the door.

He stepped into the shower, allowing the water to wash all of his sins away. He tried to remember anything about the call to Hannibal, but he couldn’t. After the third playing of Dancing Queen his entire memory had become hazy with drink and exhaustion. It was almost as if a film had been laid over his memory, obscuring his memories past the point of recognition. He sighed and gave up trying to remember. He was sure that anything important would be said to him again anyway. 

What he could remember was how he felt. Dizzying giddiness coupled with a distinct feeling of walking on air coloured his mind in vibrant technicolour and reminded him that the night had been wonderful even if he could barely remember it. He could catch snippets of it, of dancing with Bev, of Gary being assaulted with belly rubs and kisses by a very drunk Jimmy, of Brian Zeller’s lips on his own. 

Suddenly he was hit with a wave of nausea, brought on only by the memory that he had made a huge mistake. He leapt out of the shower and threw his breakfast up in the sink with a sob. He really was never going to drink again.

-

Shower and cleanup done, Will spent some time with Gary. He had been trying to teach him how to play dead, but old dogs were notoriously hard to teach and Will had definitely started too late. Although he couldn’t really help that he was eight years old when Gary was brought home and at his prime for trick teaching. Honestly it was a miracle that the dog even knew not to piss inside the house with Beau teaching him. 

When Gary proved unresponsive to training as usual, Will gave up and gave him a belly rub anyway, smiling at how the old dog wriggled around on the grass with his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. Unapologetically delighted. Not a care in the world. 

Will always found it easier to be around dogs than people. Their emotions were real and yet so simple. Happy or sad, anxious or delighted. There were few worries in their little heads besides how to get their owner’s attention to let them out to the bathroom or worrying about when their next meal would come. With dogs, he didn’t have to worry if his empathy was coming off too strong or whether he was freaking them out. As long as he had a kind hand and a soft voice, dogs would always be happy to see him.

-

Morning faded to early evening quickly in a flurry of activity which included, but was not limited to: 

Giving Gary a bath after he rolled around in shit with the delight of a child being given sugar for the first time which led to Will opening every window and door in the house to try and rid it of the scent of shit and alcohol which seemed to permeate every fabric and surface in the house. 

He did some work on the car, wincing at the suddenly unbearably loud sound that came from the engine every time he tried it which seemed to fill the entire barn with its awful tune. 

He went back inside and scrubbed every solid surface in the house with whatever cleaning products he could get his hands on to no avail. He resigned himself to deal with the smell and the scolding he would inevitably get for something that he didn’t have any control over. Every time Gary dared walk through the house he earned a glare from Will which didn’t seem to bother the dog in the slightest. 

When four thirty came, Will felt decidedly less dead. He figured that the cleaning products and motor oil had either drugged him or burned the pain away to a more respectable level of throbbing behind his eyes. 

He opened his laptop and checked his reflection in the screen before chancing the call button. It rang three times before it began connecting and Hannibal’s unfairly lovely face was revealed to him, all smiles and perfect lines as usual. 

Will smiled and waved shyly, “Good afternoon. You look good.” He took a breath and interrupted before Hannibal could even begin speaking, “Look, I’m really really sorry about calling you last night. I don’t remember what I said, but I’m really sorry if I offended you in any way. I was angry. I’m not angry anymore.” He brought a hand up to the back of his neck and rubbed it to try and ease his anxiety or at least give him something to do with his hands.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about what you said last night, Dear Will. It was all incredibly flattering.” Hannibal smiled brightly but the bags under his eyes revealed how little he had actually slept. 

“Did you actually sleep last night?” Will asked quietly with a quirk of his brow.

“I got about an hour before you called me and, regrettably, couldn’t bring myself to sleep after our chat. I was simply too happy to.” Will was really curious now, wondering what the fuck he could have said to put that shit eating grin on Hannibal Lecter’s perfectly chiselled face. 

“You’re going to have to give me a run down on what happened last night because I feel like I’m out of the loop on an inside joke that I was actually a part of. Did I show you my dick or something?” Will growled, picking at a stray thread on his pillow.

“It would be quite remarkable if you managed to show me your dick through a phone call.” Hannibal teased and Will laughed as Hannibal began glancing around the room to check if anyone was there who could potentially overhear his conversation. When he deemed it to be safe, he began speaking again in a somewhat lower tone, “We discussed the nature of our relationship and I apologised for being…” he searched for the word, “untoward.”

“What do you mean? Worshipping another guy while you’re talking to me?” Will frowned, suddenly remembering why he had been angry with Hannibal in the first place.

“Yes I apologised for my behaviour and assured you that anything less than friendship with Anthony has been nipped in the bud. My attention is solely and utterly devoted to you, my dear Will.” An involuntary blush crept up on Will’s cheeks.

“Well, I- You’re forgiven. I think it’s stupid that I’m fighting with you anyway.” Will smiled nervously and stretched out, resting his head against the headboard. 

“Indeed. We are simply wasting breath by arguing over silly things. Not that it was silly of you to be upset over. It was actually an extremely valid thing to be upset over I-“

“Oh my god. Have I ruffled the feathers of the great Hannibal Lecter?” Will laughed as Hannibal’s face screwed up into a playful pout.

“I am not ruffled, merely taken in by your beauty.” Will scoffed at that. He had seen himself in the viewfinder. He knew how otherworldly shitty he looked. All sickly pale and with bags under his eyes.

“Oh shut up. I look like shit. Anyway when are you coming back? When can I actually see you? Well- not see you. I can already see you, but it’s not the same as- Fuck okay I just want to kiss you again, Hannibal. I’ve been fighting with myself for weeks over this and I’ve decided that I want to kiss you more than anything in the world right now.” Wills face was aflame with embarrassment at what he was saying but he just couldn’t help it. 

“And I, you, Will. Came the reply, smooth as butter. “I’ll be home in two weeks. We can arrange to meet as soon as possible, but it will probably be three weeks before I see you.” Will tried not to let the disappointment show on his face, looking down at his lap. In three weeks he’d be readying to move back down south for college. 

“Oh. Well okay I’ll see you then. I can’t wait.” He whispered with only the slightest hint of sadness in his voice. “I’ll um, I’ll bring Gary with me. We could go on a date at the coast if I get my car up and running.” He shrugged.

“That sounds absolutely wonderful.” Hannibal’s smile was kind, but Will could see the sadness there.

“I’ll actually be gone by then, Hannibal. I don’t know why I bothered lying to you. There’s no point. I’m going to be back in New Orleans.” His accent twinged slightly on his pronunciation which brought a small smile to Hannibal’s face. His eyes, however, were watery. 

“Well at least I’ll be able to call more regularly when I’m not on a strict boarding school time schedule.” Will nodded slightly and wiped the back of his hand over his eyes to clear any I shed tears that were threatening escape.

“Yeah. I guess that’s true. God, Hannibal, I’m so sorry about this. I’m so sorry that I let us fucking fall for each other when I was going to be going away. I’m so sorry.” Suddenly, he was overwhelmed by the urge to cry, to sob, to reach through the screen and pull Hannibal into his arms.

“Will.” Hannibal soothed, allowing his tears to fall freely rather than rushing to wipe them away like Will had, “I will make every effort to see you. I will see you whether I have to travel to New Orleans myself.” His conviction, Will had to admit, was admirable. 

“Okay. Okay, okay, okay. It’s fine. It’ll be fine. Okay.” Will let out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding and looked up at the screen, committing the sight to memory. The shine of tears on his skin, the way he worried his lip to distract himself. It was all beautiful. 

“Okay?” Hannibal teased with a smile.

“Oh shut up. This isn’t The Fault In Our Stars.” Will rolled his eyes but found himself laughing all the same. 

“Oh that was a good film.” Hannibal mumbled thoughtfully with no hint of sarcasm and Will almost screamed, staring at him with wide eyes.

“I’m hanging up. I’m hanging up. You’re worthless to me.” Will laughed, reaching forward as if to hang up when both of them knew that he wouldn’t dare cut this, the longest conversation they’d had in months, short. 

“And you, me, Will.” Came the reply to which Will screeched with laughter, his breath heaving as he tried to stop laughing. Hannibal was looking at him with something that could only be perceived as pure adoration. 

“Fuck off.” Will smiled a big toothy smile. Their fun was interrupted by a shrill bell in the background of Hannibal’s screen that made Gary perk up. 

“I suppose I’ll have to. Same time next week, my dear?” Will simply nodded.

“Okay.”

Hannibal smirked, “Okay?”

“Okay!” Will growled with a laugh and hung the call up, feeling his heart swell in his chest as silence enveloped him. Maybe he was in love. Maybe he was just crushing hard. He couldn’t really tell.

-

Saturday arrived again like a flash. Will had spent the entire week making sure he was ready for college, ready to move away. He barely even noticed the several hundred texts he got a day from Hannibal or the poems he wrote or the drawings he sent in the form of grainy cell photos. 

He couldn’t help but wonder why Hannibal suddenly had all this free time. He just presumed that, without Anthony, life was a bit less entertaining. 

Although, as he sat at his laptop and waited for Hannibal’s call, he started to wonder what was actually going on. 

**4:00pm.**

No call.

**4:30pm.**

Still nothing.

**4:43pm.**

A knock at the door. 

Will groaned and closed his laptop, walking downstairs to see who the hell was knocking on their door in the middle of nowhere at nearly five’o’clock in the evening. 

“Who is it?” He called out, suddenly very aware of the fact that his dad wasn’t there, that he was alone. That he would have to defend himself if this was a threat. Then he had to tell himself that a threat would not knock on the door.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t answered the door before. He did it all the time when his dad wasn’t home, but now it just seemed wrong. Something about the time made it eerie and dangerous despite the summer sun still hanging in the sky. 

He hung back in the hopes that whoever was lingering outside his door would give up and go away but he was, instead, assaulted with another knock on the door. 

Now or never.

He took a breath and slowly opened it, watching as Gary leapt out the door and into the garden. He looked up and the breath was knocked out of him as he was faced with Hannibal Lecter standing there in the flesh with a sheepish grin on his face, wearing that school uniform that Will had come to know far too well.

“Hello, Will. Sorry to drop in unannounced. Could I come in?” 


End file.
